goddammits | (no subject)

[ Cisco frowns again, nodding. ]

Missing Iris? You never know, man, she could get ported in!

[ Not that that's... entirely likely to help. Cisco remembers from when he was ported home that she's had months to mourn and move on, not to mention the family stuff she and Joe have been dealing with. But Eddie doesn't need to hear that from him, not when he's already in a bad mood. ]

[He takes a little sharp breath and licks his lips again, a smile playing around the corner of his mouth. Shaking his head, he lets out a soft chuckle.]

No, no. I...of course I miss her, but I know things can't work, even if she is here. I've picked up...no. I mean.

[He rubs the back of his neck, laughing softly.]

I guess I'm just a bit jealous of you and M.

Jealous of—

[ Of all the things Cisco was thinking Eddie might say, that was not even remotely on the list. ]

Really? Cause I didn't even know you— [ He makes a vague hand gesture that could mean "were into guys" or "were into my boyfriend" or any number of other things he's in no great hurry to say out loud. ]

[Eddie can't quite help licking his lips nervously again, shrugging his shoulders.]

Were into guys? Yeah, since I was a teenager. Not that it ever mattered much.

[A slightly strained smile, and he glances down.]

I guess at some point I started to...well. We've spent so much time together, testing my abilities and M's been such a big help...

Edited 2016-01-30 04:26 (UTC)

[ Eddie's mentioned his past as a chubby dweeb to Cisco before, but that image never seems to stick in the face of how gorgeous Eddie is now. ]

...Yeah, he's a helpful guy.

[ Cisco turns back to fidget with some function of the data logging program. He's not petty enough to think Eddie would actually try something, of course. They're friends, and aside from that one time he punched Barry, Eddie seems like the kind of guy to put friends above almost anything else.

But still, he can't quite ignore the twinge of jealousy. He knows Eddie is way more M's type than he is. If they had met first, Cisco is pretty sure he'd be the one on the mood-bombing side of this conversation. ]

[It might not have stuck for Cisco, but in this moment Eddie feels like he never stopped being a fat loser. He feels that way now, uncomfortable in his own skin as Cisco turns away from him after commenting on M being helpful.

For a moment he stands there awkwardly, lifts a hand to rub over his face and exhales heavily.]

Yeah. He is. You are too.

[A beat. He really should not have brought this up, he realizes - but Eddie is a terrible liar and he knows there's only so long he can hide this kind of thing. It's already causing problems with his training, he doesn't want it to start souring his friendships too.]

I guess...I just never anticipated this. You know? Having a thing for two people at once. Especially when they're together with each other. How much more inappropriate can you get?

[A pause, and he forces a little smile.]

Forget I mentioned it. Maybe getting it off my chest will help me with my mood.

Wait, wait wait wait, two people? You mean–

[ He gestures at himself, raising his eyebrows in lieu of using actual words. He didn't think for a second that Eddie would mean he was into him. M he could get. They got along well, their interactions just shy of flirting even when Cisco was around. But Cisco himself? Really? ]

[Eddie's mouth works, he bites at the inside of his lips, avoiding eye contact, at least until Cisco trails off, and his eyes flick up to see him vaguely gesturing toward himself.

Blinking, he offers a weak smile.]

Yeah. [A beat.] Sorry.

Hey, man, no need to apologize, I just didn't think you– It's cool, really. That's okay.

[ He offers what he hopes is a reassuring smile, but he's still kinda surprised. ]

I'm flattered, man.

[With a rush of breath, he lets out a laugh and shakes his head, licking his lips and lifting his chin, meeting Cisco's eyes.]

Right. Well. It's still...not appropriate. Like, completely out of line. And I'm really sorry about that.

[A little shrug.]

So, please forget I said it, and we can just...move on. You know? I just thought it would be better than holding it in and stewing on it.

Uh, yeah, sure. Do you wanna run some more tests today, or...?

[ If Eddie's feeling awkward enough about this to want to call it for the day, Cisco's fine with giving him the out. He has a feeling he's going to be a little distracted himself. ]

[Glancing up, he smiles a little and nods.]

I think I can handle one or two more. I'm feeling mostly better. Let's do this thing.

All right.

[ Eddie's confession stays on Cisco's mind though, especially later that night when he meets up with M. He does his best not to let it distract him too much, but it's clearly not working. He's not too distracted for sex, thankfully, but it's a near thing. ]

[M tries to ignore Cisco's obvious distraction, but when it gets in the way of their private time, he runs out of patience. Propping himself up on his elbows, he looks over at his partner, eyebrow arched.]

All right, spill. What's on your mind?

What? Nothing. Totally focused on us.

[ He drapes his arm over M's hip, but can't... actually look him straight in the eye when he says it. ]

You know I'm a human lie detector. And even if I wasn't, you're a horrible liar.

Talk to me.

Yeah, okay, that's not untrue.

[ Something occurs to him, though. M's really good at reading body language, and he hangs out with Eddie a lot... ]

...Did you, uh, know Eddie is into you? And, kind of weirdly, also into me?

[A small smile creeps onto M's face. So that's what this is about...]

You only noticed that now?

So you did know! Dude.

[ He squeezes his hand on M's hip, pushing him a little. ]

You could've said something. Jeez, I feel like a jerk for— For not noticing?

[ He was going to say for gushing about his hot boyfriend. Not that M needs the ego inflating. ]

Of course I knew.

[Slides his fingers up Cisco's thigh.]

You seem to have enough issues about us without throwing Eddie into the mix.

Hey, I don't have issues about us.

You mean to tell me your inferiority complex isn't a thing?

I love you, and you seem to think I'm going to run off the second I find someone "better."

[ He sighs, and leans in to kiss M, then leans his forehead against his. He hates this conversation a lot. ]

I don't think that specifically. I trust you, I do, and I love you, too, okay?

[M returns the kiss, and runs his other hand through Cisco's hair. It's because M knows he hates having this conversation is that he's avoided having this conversation for so long. However, the time has come to finally have it.]

It's something in the back of your mind.[M kisses him again.] And I know that too. That's never in doubt.

[ He lets himself be distracted with kisses for a minute, but pulls back a little again. ]

Okay, but seriously, I'm not asking because of an insecurity thing, but... What do you think of Eddie?

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I figure we can leave it here till the next installment?

Sure! Gonna continue the thread from here tho for organization's sake

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